Happy Mother's Day

Here is a picture of the beautiful roses that Jemma and the BHW got me for Mother's Day!  This holiday is a wonderful day for me now that I have Jemma and she is so excited for it to be Mother's Day, but it is also a sad time for me because I don't have my mom with me anymore.  She passed away right before Mother's Day and it is always hard on me, but sometimes it is even harder because I have a daughter now and I have so many questions for her.

My mom was a vibrant, fun, beautiful woman with the clearest blue eyes you have ever seen.  I remember her dressing up for fancy parties and I just thought she looked like an angel.  One dress in particular was a aqua blue sheath with a flowing poncho style top that almost looked like butterfly wings.  She probably wore that when I was three or four, but I will never forget it.  She loved to shop and loved to dress up.

My mom was smart.  Her IQ was over 180 and as a teacher now, I see so many things that she did that was completely in the gifted range.  When she would get on her new "crazes", I would get to learn along too.  We explored ancient Egypt together, the Civil War, the Bible, other religions... so many things that she taught me.  She loved to read and gave that special gift to me.  I read every night before bed just like she did.

She loved old movies.  We would watch them all the time.  We loved Gone with the Wind.  It was our all time favorite!  With her, I learned to love dancing, big band music, and the true art of romance.  Thank you Tyrone Powell, Dana Andrews, Fred Astaire, Clark Gable... oh the list goes on!

She loved me.  She did.  As I got older, it was difficult.  My mom suffered from depression and from alcoholism.  She tried her best, but she just did not have control over it.  We went through a spell where we didn't see each other or speak to each other, but I loved her and she loved me.  We worked it out.  I didn't agree with her lifestyle or her choices, but I loved her.

When I was in college, we grew very close.  I talked to her everyday... multiple times.   I lived an hour and a half away, but tried to see her when I could and she would come to see me.  The day I graduated from high school, she was so proud of me , but the day I got married, she was glowing.  She loved me and she loved that I loved someone.

About 2 years after I got married, she got very sick.  The years of abusing her body had taken its toll.  Her husband had troubles of his own and was not there.  I took care of her.  I didn't mind, but it was hard being newly married, new job, graduate school and caring for someone who lived  a half hour away.  She got sicker and sicker.  I knew I needed help and had to put her in a nursing home.  The day she went, she was in her right mind and it was the absolute worst day of my life.  She was only 53.  I sat in the car after leaving her and cried for an hour.  I felt guilt like you will never know, but I didn't know what else to do.  She needed the care that I couldn't give her.  She did well there for a while and became great friends with the staff.  I would go see her every day or other day and we had the best talks.  We talked about everything.  She even apologized to me for the poor choices she had made as she knew it had taken her from me through the years and was going to take her away from me very soon.  Those words meant so much to me.  She knew I loved her and had done my best and I knew that she loved me and had done her best.

As spring came in 1997, all the flowers bloomed and grew, but my mom began to fade.  As she slipped into a coma state, I sat by her side and talked to her.  I think she hung on for as long as she could because she didn't want to leave me.  I didn't want her to leave, but I told her one night, "Let it go Mom and be at peace.  I have someone who will always take care of me.  I am o.k. and I love you so much."  I received a call the next morning that she had passed.  Even in her last moments, she was thinking of me and worried about me because she loved me.

For years, I would think, "I need to call mom and tell her that."  I don't do that anymore, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her.  She would have loved to hear about our adventures in Europe.  She would have rejoiced the day Jemma was born and spoiled her rotten.   I wish she were her to see Jemma.  As much as she loved me, I think she would love this baby even more.  She is Jemma's guardian angel and Jemma will tell you that.  The other day we were talking and she asked me if I was excited to go to heaven and see Judy.  I told her that I was because I miss her.  Jemma said I can't WAIT to go and meet my grandma!  I hope it is many many years from now, but I can't wait for her to meet her either.  There will be a love between those two like none other!  We love her and she loves us.

I wish each of you a Happy Mother's Day.  May you have a day filled with happiness and most of all... love!

Baby Shower on Saturday

Here is a sneak peek at some of the goodies at the Ice Cream themed baby shower I am doing on Saturday!  I have gotten so many ideas from blogs!  I am excited, but now have to go clean house!  More pictures to come!

Sassy me!

I came across a blog called Fabulous Fashions 4 Sensible Style and met Liesl.  Let me tell you...she is adorable!!!  Always happy and always delightful to read.  I can decorate a house, but can't really dress myself, and she shows how to put super cute (and VERY reasonable!) outfits together.  I forget most times that I am 38 and that I have gained a lot of weight and probably shouldn't wear these cute trendy clothes, but I can't help myself!  I did see this outfit though and thought I could swing it.  I bought the dress from Target for $15!  They only had the one left in black.  I wanted a fun summer color, but I snatched the last one and it isn't even my size.  It is actually a bit too big, but the way it is shaped is hard to tell.  Let me just say that it is super comfy and I got lots of compliments on how cute I looked!

I am thinking about growing out my bangs.  Not sure about that one.  I'll keep plugging along for a while, but I see bangs in the future!  It is just so darn humid here that they just end up curling across my forehead which isn't an attract look!

Check out our very own blogging star, Liesl, and fall in love with her sweet personality and rocking outfits!

Silly Girl

We were very excited that Jemma was asked to model for a local children's clothing store a few weeks ago.   She wore a beautiful white dress and was asked to stand in a box (for better lack of a word!) and wave to people and show the dress off.  Little did they know the diva they had invited!  Oh yes, she waved.  She twirled.  She danced.  She sang...loudly!  She did this for a good thirty minutes.  She was awesome!  I have a few pictures to share, but also wanted to just write down for memories sake her quip tonight!

She was manipulating bedtime as she is so good at it.  I am lured onto the stairs to lay down for "another 5 minutes" after she tells me she won't be nice to me if I don't.  The kind and caring mom sucker that I am, I start up the stairs.  She takes my hand in hers and leads me up telling me, "If you will never yell at me, or put me in time out, or bite me (please refer to our last day in Germany post if you don't understand this part!), then I will be nice to you."  I guess it makes perfect sense if you think about it!  Wouldn't everyone in the world get along better if we followed this simple philosophy?

Have a great Sunday!

Watch out American Idol!  Here we come!!!

 
I just want to say to everyone how touched I am by the blog that is now on my sidebar about a little boy named Jedidiah.  He is battling a rare form of cancer and being so incredibly brave.  His story is amazing and his parents are so strong.  It truly makes me appreciate my baby girl and I am so grateful that she is healthy and happy.  I am praying for Jed and his family and pray that God continues to lift them through their trials.

I'm bringing Camelback!

You were singing like Justin Timberlake.  Weren't you????  I am going with the in-between color of Camelback.  I knew it in my heart.  I just need to hear it from my peeps!  Thanks ya'll!!

My new couch comes today!  I will try to post pictures soon.  I am going to hang up some pictures and things and try to pull it all together!

Nothing like a baby shower at your house to motivate you!!

Your time to vote again!!!

Hello blogger buds!

My next challenge is WHAT COLOR TO PAINT!!!!  I have done two samples and would love your opinions.  The first one is Whole Wheat and the second is Baguette.  I like both a lot.  The BHW said if I was going with the lighter, not to even paint at all!  This room does not get a ton of natural light.  I will tell you... there is a color right smack dab in the middle called Camelback that I think might do the trick, but I value all your opinions so now it is your turn to give me your two cents!!

In the daytime with the big fake tree kind of blocking the bottom color!

More evening with a warm glow

What do you think?  These colors go very well with the new sofa fabric and it will also flow through basically the whole house as this area opens up to all the halls, upstairs, foyer and kitchen!  

I think I am leaning for the in between, but would love your take on it!

Here is a sneak peek at the cabinet all painted white!

I will be posting her as soon as I get her more organized!

Thanks!

Ready, Set, Vignette!

I adore Beth at the Stories of A to Z and I really wanted to join her vignette party.  This is a very simple vignette that I have on my foyer table.  As it has gotten warmer here, I am longing for the beach!  We have been a few times this year so far, but it is too chilly to get in and the wind has about blown us away!  We don't care.  We still go because there is nothing like smelling the salt air, listening to the roll of the waves, and digging your toes in the sand.  Here a few of my favorite things!

My baby girl!  I took this picture on our last beach visit last fall.  She loves the ocean and is not afraid.  She will just lay on her back and float on the waves.  I have a beach baby!  I think this frame is kind of crazy, but I kept going back to it because it reminded me of water.  Walmart - $6!

Shells... need I say more???  We collect shells on every visit and I add them to this jar.  It is funny that I thought I had so many and would fill this up in a jiffy, but not quite there!  A few more trips should do it!

This plate was a souvenir that I bought in Greece when we went there on a cruise.  We fell in love with the Greek Isles.  I have never seen water that shade of blue.  It was absolutely mesmerizing.  I love this plate and every time I see it, it reminds me of that magical trip!

Like I said, it is very simple but holds so many special beach memories!

Join Beth at The Stories of A to Z to see more lovely arrangements!